If You See Drinking Straw Stapled To Someone’s Shirt, Here’s What It Means

Liberals have decided that wearing safety pins is a good sign of solidarity and an outward display that they are “safe,” hoping to bring comfort to those who are frightened of President-elect Donald Trump. After the safety pin phenomenon started to spread, a new trend slowly emerged. Instead of safety pins, some people have decided a drinking straw makes a better statement, and here’s what it means.

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In response to the ridiculous of the safety pin movement, many memes have been created to counter it. However, at least one “deplorable” Trump supporter came up with something even better, deciding that we should affix drinking straws to our tops, and it might be enough to send liberals running for their safe spaces.

A Facebook user recently posted an image of a straw stapled to her shirt with a simple caption that explains it all, and it’s brilliant:

“To the folks wearing the safety pins for the butt hurt ‘anti-Trump’ protesters, I present MY version of the ‘PRO-Trump’ jewelry line…The ‘Suck-It-Up’ straw…”

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It’s been over a week since the left’s defeat, so it’s beyond time for these crybabies to put their pins back on their diapers and head back to their childcare facilities (also known as liberal college campuses). Perhaps seeing straws randomly attached to our tops will show these liberals how silly they look.

If that doesn’t work, there’s a tidbit of information that you can pass on that will have them removing those safety pins and reaching for the therapy dog they’ve been provided in their cry zone. Apparently unbeknownst to these safety pin lovers, Walter Hunt didn’t only invent their beloved safety pin. He also invented something they loathe:

That’s right, Hunt patented the firing cock repeating gun, a forerunner of the Winchester repeating rifle. But, what about those drinking straws? Are we “safe” using them to show liberals how ridiculous they look? Well, the first known straws were made by the Sumerians and were used for drinking beer, most likely to avoid the solid byproducts of fermentation that sink to the bottom. The modern drinking straw was invented by Marvin C. Stone.

Wikipedia explains, “Stone was spoken of as ‘the friend of the working class,’ in that he looked after the moral and social condition of his working girls… He was also well known for his philanthropy in other areas. He and several others built two blocks of tenement houses for African-American residents of Washington.” Contrary to the lies the liberals spread about Donald Trump and his supporters, it sounds like the straw is a decent representation for our “suck it up, buttercup” movement.

For the most part, we are just a hard working crowd that likes to have a cold beer after a long day’s work without having progressive byproducts from the Washington, D.C. swamp ruining our country and leaving a bad taste in our mouths. We are not focused on the color of your skin or what’s between your legs when we strive to make this country great again. We desire a strong America, where everyone is safe from enemies foreign and domestic, with a thriving economy where everyone can succeed. So, we’ll tell the left once more time: Suck it up.

They lost because their “forward-thinking progressive” policies have taken our nation in the wrong direction. Instead of a generation who is motivated to get shit done, we have crybabies, wearing safety pins, playing with Play-Doh, and in need of therapy dogs because they are “afraid.” They only thing they should fear is themselves. Left to their own devices, quite simply, our country would be screwed. So, liberals, take your blankies and curl up in your safe spaces while those of us with an adult mentality actually fix the mess that’s been created.

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About Christy Parker, Opinion Columnist 646 Articles
Christy is a Christian conservative wife, mother, writer, and business owner. After almost 20 years in healthcare, she retired from the field to pursue what she felt was her calling. With the support of her husband, she successfully ventured into a rewarding career as a news commentator, opinion columnist, and editor. She's passionate about her faith, traditional Christian values, family, and the Second Amendment.