After sharing my thoughts about the recent Women’s March on Facebook, rabid “feminists” quickly attacked, displaying their “love” and “tolerance” as they “lovingly” called me a twat and worse. That didn’t bother me. What irritated me was the “We did this for you” remarks. Before these feminists march for me again, there’s something I want them to know.
Feminists did this for me so I can have a voice, or so they say. However, who tried to silence me when I expressed disagreement with the current movement and the recent march? It wasn’t white oppressive men who called me names for sharing my opinion. It was the feminists, who, in the same breath, told me that they were giving me a voice. Apparently, I only get a voice if I agree with them.
Before these feminists decide to march “for me” again, I want to be clear: They don’t speak for me. They don’t get to do that. I get to decide what’s said with my voice, and I don’t agree with this brand of “feminism.” Today’s radical feminists do not speak for me, they don’t march for me, and I don’t want them to.
I have a voice. I’m using it now, and it will be feminists who tell me to shut up. They’ll say I don’t get it. They will assume since I’m a white woman, married to a white man, with white children, living comfortably now, that it’s always been that way. In fact, they quickly flooded my inbox and posts with an article that talks about how “Christy on Facebook, who doesn’t need the women’s march” has no idea what it’s like for other women.
But, I do know. I have been there. I was the child of a teen mother, as well as a teen mom myself, pregnant before receiving my high school diploma. I have been a single mom. I have worked multiple jobs to get by. I have had to decide whether to get my yearly checkup or use the money for my children’s needs. All of the things these feminists assume are completely wrong. Most importantly, they are wrong assuming some male boogeyman put me in that position.
Men didn’t oppress me. Men helped me succeed as I changed my own circumstances. Yes, some men along the way hurt me, but many incredible men didn’t view me as a sum of my body parts. They weren’t foaming at the mouth, ready to have their way. They were mentors who wanted me to succeed.
Feminists speak of equality, but I am not equal to a man, nor is a man equal to me. It’s biology 101. That doesn’t make me less, but it doesn’t make me more. We are different, and I embrace it. Each sex has their unique strengths and weaknesses, and it’s a beautiful thing. I complement my husband as a woman, and as a man, he complements me.
I am respected. I have the same rights as any man, actually more, but that’s another story. I enjoy chivalry. I have no problem being in the kitchen and making a sandwich; yes, even for a man. I like having a man in my life who will do the dirty work, fixing drains and taking out the trash. I’m not threatened by men. I’m certainly not oppressed by them. And, it’s not because I’ve never struggled. As one article said, “I believe that I am a strong woman, but I also believe in a strong man.” The two don’t have to be in opposition. A strong man does not make me a weak woman.
Praising a man and being blessed to have one in my life doesn’t mean I am not strong or that I can’t be independent. I choose not to be. I need my husband, he needs me, and I like it that way. I do not have to hate men or put them down to feel better about my womanhood. The things I’ve endured are not a man’s fault. In reality, just as many men as women have helped me with my burdens. I don’t have to pretend that I don’t need a man. I’m okay with being vulnerable, and I’m okay with being a bit cliche and saying that my husband completes me. We are not equal. One is not better. Neither is overpowering of the other. We, as man and woman, balance one another.
Feminists say they want me to have a voice. This is my voice, as a woman and a confident human being who doesn’t need be the “dominant” gender to feel better about myself. These are my thoughts and beliefs. Feminists do not speak for me — and I don’t need them to march for me either. #NotMyMarch