Better Than Gun Control: Study Claims Mowing The Lawn Reduces Shootings

Although it sounds rather stupid, a study claims that the simple act of mowing the grass in crime-ridden neighborhoods can reduce shootings. Researchers cleaned up some vacant lots in Philadelphia and noted that there was a slight decrease in shootings in the vicinity.

Mowing the lawn (Photo Credit: Screenshot Youtube)

If these findings turn out to be true (they are not), it opens up a whole world of landscaping-based problem solving, which is way better than the unconstitutional gun control measures that liberals are currently pushing.

The Huffington Post reports that researchers at the University of Pennsylvania came up with the odd idea that mowing the lawn would reduce gun violence. To test this theory, they cleaned up some vacant lots in Philadelphia’s worst neighborhoods. Some lots they mowed the overgrown grass and weeds, while others they cleaned up completely, removing trash and planting fresh grass. They also left some lots alone, overgrown and littered with garbage, as a control.

Study co-author John MacDonald explained, “Doing the full intervention, or doing at least a partial intervention of mowing and picking up trash, you see a significant reduction in shootings.”

The study, published in the American Journal of Public Health, says that shootings near the lots that had been cleaned up and landscaped were reduced by 6.8% while shootings near the lots that had simply been mowed were down by 9.2%. There was no change in the number of shootings near the control lots. This already sounds like bad data because the less cleaned up lots had a bigger reduction in shootings than the fully landscaped lots.

The study also claims that the shootings didn’t just relocate, which is another red flag because there was no measurable reduction in shootings in the entire city of Philadelphia. If these cleaned up lots were actually reducing shootings, then shootings would be down city-wide.

Researchers can’t explain why there was a reduction in shootings near landscaped lots, but they think it’s because scumbags don’t want to shoot each other in areas that are slightly less crappy than they used to be. It’s either that or they went into the study with pre-determined results and made the data fit the hypothesis.

As it turns out, mowing the lawn has become a buzz-worthy solution to all of life’s problems in liberal circles. Earlier this year, California Rep. Nancy Pelosi suggested that we could stop illegal immigration by cutting the grass near the US/Mexico border. While trying to explain why she opposes President Trump’s border wall, she put forth her ideas on keeping illegal immigrants out.

“Let’s talk about where a more serious structure might be necessary, where fencing will do or mowing the grass so people can’t be smuggled through the grass,” said Pelosi.

Apparently, Pelosi doesn’t think it’s physically possible to smuggle people across a freshly mowed lawn. If mowing the lawn cuts down on shootings in Philadelphia, why can’t the same thing keep out illegal aliens? With liberal logic, anything is possible.

Clearly, the liberal brain trust has decided that landscaping is the key to solving all of this country’s problems, and that blows the possibilities wide open. Maybe we can reduce the national debt by pruning the cherry trees at the National Mall. Perhaps a cure for AIDS can be found by trimming the shrubs in front of the National Institutes of Health. It could be a possibility to finally defeat al Qaeda by dropping bags of Scott’s Turf Builder on Afghanistan instead of bombs.

This is all very dumb, but if liberals want to believe that mowing the lawn reduces gun violence, let them. It can’t be any less effective than targeting law-abiding people with unconstitutional gun control laws to stop criminals from committing a crime. Any liberal crime reduction plan that doesn’t involve restricting our 2nd Amendment rights is at least palatable.

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About Brian Anderson, Opinion Columnist 52 Articles
Brian Anderson is the author of horror novels Man-Made Monsters and Cryptic Creatures and has written for some major Hollywood studios. He is a family man, musician, muscle car enthusiast, and supporter of the 2nd Amendment.