New York Approves Utterly Disgusting Action To Avoid Accusations Of Racism

396 what a relief 940

New Yorkers can take solace in the fact that their freedom to be equally disgusting, offensive, and unsanitary are being protected by their city government. Their rights to publicly expose themselves to passing strangers, including young children, are now being kept under the watchful eyes of Mayor Bill de Blasio and his city council.

An assortment of quality-of-life laws are being relegated to the ranks of the non-enforced because too many minorities are being arrested under them. When an overly large percentage of the violations of a law take place among a particular minority or ethnicity, the liberals naturally assume there is something wrong with the law or those who are enforcing it. The easy solution, when possible, is to just gut or jettison the law.

Puerto Rican born City Council Speaker Melissa Mark-Viverito has a record of finding even the well-hidden racial component to societal problems and public urination is no exception. Not being able to “let it fly” in public puts New York’s citizens of color at an unfair disadvantage. It’s an injustice that she and her ally Bill de Blasio are now correcting.

Mark-Viverito commented, “We know that the system has been really rigged against communities of color in particular. So the question has always been, what can we do in this job to minimize unnecessary interaction with the criminal justice system, so that these young people can really fulfill their potential?” The obvious answer to Mark-Viverito and de Blasio is, “Let ’em pee in place.”

Mark-Viverito and her fellow council members will introduce a set of bills, collectively titled the Criminal Justice Reform Act on Monday. Many misdemeanor offenses will now be virtually decriminalized, including public urination, excessive noise, drinking in public, marijuana possession, and miscellaneous public park-related infractions. Rather than arresting violators, civil summonses will be issued to appear in a court under the Office of Administrative trials and hearings.

Fines for a first time offense would range from $25 to $250, with those too poor to pay having the option of performing community service instead. Police would retain the option of arresting the violators, although that would immediately brand them even further as being a racist.

Community service work under the auspices of the City of New York would likely include access to a rest room, an important first step on the road to rehabilitation and acceptance into the civilized community. No such provisions are expected for public defecation and masturbation, both of which have also increased greatly under the de Blasio administration. They have apparently not yet attained the level of acceptability as normal public behavior with the New York City Council that the other activities have.

Labeling the new approach a “civil option,” NYPD spokesman Stephen P. Davis commented, “We have been supportive of having a civil option for the police. Where appropriate, the civil option is probably going to be the go-to option,” but police want to retain the discretion to arrest.

Be careful how you use that phrase “go-to,” after Monday, boys.